Stock The Shelter
Diapers and Dollars Donated
By Sarah Stokes
Proper Pajamas
Just for the Joy of It
By Sarah Stokes, Founder of The Juicy Good Life
I was a “got-this-during-my-sorority-rush-week” t-shirt kind of lady until recently.
Pair that peeling tee with a worn-out pair of yoga pants that hadn’t been to any yoga classes and…ta da! My sleepwear section was complete!
Being an efficient gal, wearing these duds to bed also meant I’d be ready for the gym in the morning.
Boom. Bonus.
For all of my 20’s and 30’s this was my pajama jam. I was happy. My 1998 Anchor Splash or intramural shirts from Drake University were a badge of honor. I loved Drake, intramural sports, and I loved Delta Gamma. What could be better than continuing that love for 20 more years through holey, tissue-thin shirts that were super comfortable.
It seemed to make sense to me.
That was, until my friend and workout buddy pointed out that, “It was time.”
Time for what? She let me know it was time to get some new t-shirts for the gym…(gasp) and proper pajamas.
I’d be lying if I didn’t feel a twinge of hurt. First, like a toddler’s blankie, you like your worn-out cotton. No, you love it. Second, I had to admit to myself that the very same thing I gave my husband grief for (hanging on to worn out clothes too long) was something I was doing myself.
So, I took the leap.
I found some cute “townie” t-shirts and started to get inspired to be proud of my current life. I bought t-shirts that helped fundraise to get kids get clean water. I found win-win situations on my way to a new wardrobe. I used techniques from Marie Kondo and thanked my shabby shirts for their service and released them to the big shirt city in the sky.
Entering phase two, my friend purchased proper pajamas for me as a gift and the first time I wore them, my kids (who were little) noticed and asked me what I was wearing. They’d never seen their mom out of the exhausted mom uniform of yoga pants and faded tees. It felt silly to wear them at first, but inside I knew this was a turning point.
Like a gateway drug, I was hooked. Momentum was building! I would so look forward to picking my PJ flavor of the night! My mother-in-law noticed and got me a couple of wonderful pairs for Christmas. I would actually stroll the sleepwear section and select something wonderful once in a while. I became a PJ gift giver as well, returning the favor to the very same friend who lovingly let me know, “It was time.”
I haven’t brought you this far to simply share a story of a woman who held on too long to her sorority shirts. There was a bigger discovery inside the cotton-clad changes I was making.
It boiled down to worth.
It shares a self-care message.
It may be what you need to spark joy. (An ode to the world’s favorite Japanese Organizer.
You see, proper pajamas send a message to yourself.
You are worth fancy jammies!
You don’t have to have pajamas with holes to prove you are practical.
I learned you can work out in clothes you love!
You know, those stained shirts you think you love might be a sign of scarcity mentality.
What my friend showed me that day at the gym stung a little, because the truth does hurt. I might have justified it as a love of worn-in cotton, but on the other side, I see I was stuck in some old ways. I still have work to do in this area to this day. I still cling to a few of the classic scarcity mentality traits.
Just this morning, before the inspiration to write this article hit me, I was crying in my living room to my husband. I was wrestling with two concepts. Joy versus priorities. (They should be connected, but until I made a decision to prioritize joy today, I was conflicted).
Concept One: Don’t put off joy! We aren’t promised tomorrow! If you’ve lost someone dear to you, you know this intimately. I understand the how important it is to not live in the “when/then” life.
You’ll know you’re in the trap when you find yourself saying, “When I (fill in the blank)…then I (fill in the blank of what you get to finally do). I will do a whole Masterclass on this someday, so stay tuned.
Concept Two: You have a plan and you have priorities. We made a debt repayment plan and we’re on the path to success!
But my heart is conflicted, because all I want is to go on a trip to snorkel with our kids again. We got to go on fantastic trips the last couple of years as our business was going great! Then, after our last trip of the previous year, we had way more expenses and an unexpected loss of some important revenue, leaving us in debt again. I understand debt is a tool in business, and mostly I accept that without shaming myself. Yet the achiever in me wants so much to tackle this debt first, that I was putting off joy.
I know that money is energy. It’s a bunch of zeros and ones in some code somewhere, and unless I open myself to the flow, I won’t make more. So what happened in my inner conflict? The old me kicked into high gear. It was almost like I was pulling my hole-filled shirts out of the trash again and was limiting my abundance. As if I only deserve a set amount of joy at a set price. Until this morning, I was wearing my old scarcity again.
We decided at the start of this year that debt repayment would be number one. And so we began. We generated more revenue and are on track to do great. But mentally, I was holding back on the joy of a trip (like not owning proper pajamas) until I took care of all the debt. It’s out of alignment for what I know to be true about abundance and joy! That’s why I was feeling icky about it. Hence, the tears were flowing. I found a school paper where my daughter was filling in blanks on what she hoped to do this year and she declared snorkeling with her family. It made me sad, because I felt myself constricting, feeling like I “shouldn’t” when everything in my being said, “TAKE THE DANG TRIP! YOU KNOW YOU MAKE MONEY WHEN YOU LET JOY FLOW!”
I know that when I take the leap into abundance mentality, all my abundance rises. When I release my grip of fear and control around my money and instead pray and move my feet, miracles happen. I was bound up in controlling and planning so I could avoid judgement from the outside world. I was arm wrestling last year’s financials to the detriment of who I am becoming.
I just forgot for a bit.
I forgot to let it flow.
I forgot that much like putting on proper pajamas, trips with my amazing family are part of worthiness and joy.
When we forget who we are becoming, we suffer sometimes.
We made the decision this morning to book the trip. I know that by me shifting from scarcity to abundance today will again open up the flow for more cash to come. I’m not doing anything stupid, nor is anything critical at stake, I’m just sparking joy instead of hitting myself with the stick to get the carrot.
Come into my closet these days and you will find some soft, luxurious jammies that make me feel great.
You won’t find any hole-filled t-shirts.
Interestingly, I’m realizing as I write this, that I’ve picked up some pretty fantastic shirts in souvenir shops from my joy-filled trips.
Pretty cool how that works, huh?
Are you ready for proper pajamas?
